The Fair-Weather Friendship

Have you ever contemplated the friendships you have forged in life? Those special connections you've made with others, regardless of time and location, that never seem to cease from existence? Have you ever stopped for a second and contemplated how those ties came to be? 

In preparation for this post, I made a list of some of the different ways and circumstances I have forged friendships in my life. 

• We went to Church together and therefore spent at least twice a week hanging out at religious functions

• We had similar teachers in school and college and fate brought us together. 

• We were dysfunctional roommates that, for whatever reason, really liked pretending to hate each other in public and yet would spend hours of the night talking about life, our purpose in it and our dreams and aspirations for the future. 

• We were in Band Class and therefore a musical family for life. 

• You took pity on me and my lack of social interactions at Boys State of Virginia.

• None of us knew how to speak Spanish so we formed a study group. 

• We met in a Remedial Algebra Class and connected over our mutual dislike for math. 

• We formed a go-to squad for projects and assignments at Governors School that will forever be known as the "Dream Team". 

• We worked together and spent a portion of the day shooting the breeze, talking about everyone and everything you could possibly talk about while simultaneously keeping up with work demand. 

• We all went to a Halloween Party, spent the better part of an hour taking pictures all around Campus in our costumes, discovered we all had an appreciation for Harry Potter and Snuggies and spent 2 hours bumming WiFi off the freshman dining hall watching half of A Very Potter Musical. 

• You added me on Facebook and we chatted about Random Acts of Kindness, schoolwork and my laundry basket, which you then insisted on seeing in person and we spent another 3 hours just talking about our First Year Worries and Expectations. 

• We would go to Denny's (or IHOP) for a gathering of food, gossip, an account of our life the previous week and our plans, hopes and fears for the future. 

As I looked at this list, I began classify those friends and friendships into a pretty definitive list. Some of my classifications included: 

Millennial Friends: A friend that you may be separated from either, be it time or location, but when you are together it's as if your life was just merely paused while apart and resuming where it left off. 

Facebook Friends: People you know in real life that you can hang out with or speak to on a regular basis but for whatever reason choose to communicate more often via Facebook (through posts, messages, chat, etc.) and never in reality. 

School Mates: The friends you were always connected with in school but, now that you've graduated and moved on in your lives, you hardly hang out or make time to talk. 

For the most part, my classification system only has positive labels. 

But there is one taxonomical category that I reserve for special circumstances. 

Fair-Weather Friend: A friend that only speaks to you when they want something or when it's convenient for them. 

As you read this, you've probably had a few names come to mind for different terms. You may have even started mentally labeling your own relationships! 

I need you to stop that. 

Empty your brain, take out all the preconceived thoughts you've had within the last few moments. Completely drain your mind of bias and get ready for some brutual honesty and truthfulness. 

Because this isn't a post about the friends in your life. 

This is the post where you decide which label you've earned by your friends. 

Think about it: 

• Do you treat your friendships like one-way alleys or two-way streets? 

• Do you think you're dependable and responsible enough to be called upon by some of your friends? Or are you never considered because you're flakier than Kellogg's cereal? 

• Do you ever think to yourself, "I could probably call so-and-so today..." but always cast the thought aside because you can never make the time to do so?

• When was the last time you reconnected -- and I mean really reconnected -- with an old classmate?

• How many of those cyber friends do you see in reality and how often do you actually strike up casual conversation with them? 

• In short, would you want to be friends with yourself? Because as I'm writing this, I can't help but think I'd hate being my friend!

Our lives are short and relatively unknown. Death comes unannounced and Life has some pretty wicked ways of knocking us around. We constantly find ourselves shuffling between moments of clarity and periods of turmoil. 

But when we have people stand with us in those moments of uncertainty, to help stabilize our resolve and foundations, sometimes that makes all the difference. 

So, what's the lesson of the day? Be the friend you want to have. Because when you need someone to support you in times of trouble, you're gonna want to have a group to call upon and not be left to your own devices.